It's Binkie, Baby.

Sometimes it scares me how much I love Costa Rica.

Don’t get me wrong. I knew I’d like it. I’d only heard good things about Costa Rica before leaving and the pictures I browsed were beautiful. I imagined it as a tropical, low key, fruit swinging from the branches kind of place.

It’s so much more. The diversity of such a small country is stunning and the universal sense of tranquility is inescapable.

When I went to visit AnneMarie a few weeks ago in Turrialba, I made an off the cuff statement about how much I loved Costa Rica. Something like, “I don’t know if I’ll ever leave Costa Rica.” And AnneMarie said, “I don’t think you will!”

Don’t worry. I’m coming back. Eventually.

But it’s true—Costa Rica has been so good for me. At the risk of being a total cliche, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. There are worries, questions and insecurities as always but I feel so grateful.

It’s funny I hadn’t been wanting for home until yesterday. Yes, I’ve been “homesick.” I’ve missed my family like no other. I’ve been uncomfortable and confused. But I hadn’t missed all the American things that were my life just 80 days ago.

Today and yesterday, though, I do. I miss driving in my little car and listening to the radio on high. I miss stopping in the grocery when I had a craving for a certain something on whim. I miss my mom’s cooking. I miss my dogs’ chorus of howls and barks when the ambulance roars by our fence. I miss watching television shows in a language and with a plot I can understand. I miss hitting up Target with my mom. I miss the kennel at the Germantown Animal Shelter…how quiet it’d become once the dogs knew you. I miss driving downtown with my sister just because. I miss how easy it is to get this, or do that or to just change your plans.

I’m thankful for what I miss. There’s so much good to love in two very important places in the world and in my heart.

10 Things that Happened Today:

1. I woke up at 9 am, pretty darn late for Costa Rica life. Felt weird and off for the rest of the day.

2. I used up a pen that I’ve only had a week. Why? Because I write out all my lesson plans!

3. I walked 30 minutes of the 45 minute walk to Frailles until some people took pity on the Gringa sweltering the heat and gave me a lift (I seriously must look pathetic because I’ve yet to make the trip there and back solely by foot).

4. I forgot to wear sunscreen. I am now working a farmer’s tan.

5. I tried to buy an internet chip for my phone. Complete failure of spanish communication and walked to melt into the floor out of embarrassment.

6. I made buddies with the one of the cute guys at the market.

7. I said “hola” when I meant to say “gracias” because I was distracted thinking about the cute guy. 

8. I finished yet another book.

9. I realized that a lot of people in La Violeta and Frailles know who I am and I have no idea who they are.

10. WE HAVE WIRELESS ON THE MOUNTAIN. So, maybe it was good I couldn’t get the internet chip after all.